I’m a 30-something professional with an amazing husband. We’ve been married 11 years and truly have one of the strongest marriages I’ve seen. However, when my husband started competing in triathlons, I had no idea what kind of strain it would put on our marriage, our budget or my generally perky disposition. This is my story of the year and a half leading up to Ironman Madison 2013. The ending of this story is not yet known.
[NOTE: I feel that it is only fair to mention that, throughout this blog, names have been changed to protect the innocent (or those who would be horribly embarrassed otherwise), facts have been embellished and exaggerated for my amusement and, on several occasions, entries were written after I drank several glasses of wine.]
triathleteswife 
Oh my goodness, soooo happy to find your blog! My boyfriend’s training for his second ironman (AZ in November) and very few people really understand what it’s like for the significant other!
I’m sooo happy to find your blog! My boyfriend’s training for his second ironman (AZ in Nov) and there are very people who actually understand what it’s like for the significant other!
We seem to be an ignored demographic! Feel free to share your experiences in the comments – I’m sure it will help us both feel better!!
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Visit my post to find out more.
Keep Bloggin x
http://thedaftdiaries.wordpress.com/2012/11/08/the-liebster-blog-award-big-yay/
On behalf of all triathletes who leave their spouse in this situation … I apologize. There’s no excuse. I’ve put my wife through this and it has taken us months to resume normal life.
At least you are willing to admit it! That goes a long way. Trust me.
So I’m not alone!!! maybe silly, but knowing that there are others in this situation comforts me. I’m also a professional, 35 and married for 15 years, and this triathlon obsession is challenging…
Thanks for your post! Sounds like we are pretty similarly situated. Feel free to share any tips!
Seriously, are we married to the same man!? Thank you thank you thank you!!!! I thought that I was the only one going through ANY of these things, from the “are you sure you REALLY need that new aero helmet?” to the insecurities about “hubby John” being around all these fit triathletes, I now know that there are spouses out there like me. This blog allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief and know that it will all work out. Keep up the amazing work!!!
Thanks so much for your comment. It always makes me feel better to hear that I’m not alone in this! Has your husband been doing triathlons for long? Let me know if you have any good tips for how to cope.
Our story is very similar, except that we don’t have 11 years of marriage under our belts-we’re newlyweds! He completed his first marathon two days after we first met, and was bit by the triathalon bug immediately after. He has always been totally up front about the fact that he wanted to become an Ironman before he got married and had a family, and luckily (!?) for me he figured that he could handle the whole “being married” part along with the training. His Ironman is this August (on my birthday, in fact-talk about “timing”!) and he’s in the final month long stretch. I can definitely say that this has been the most difficult part. Besides copious amounts of wine and trashy TV ( a girl’s gotta have her vices, right!?) while he’s doing his nightly swims/bike rides/second runs of the day, I’m handling it by open communication, A LOT of humor (that youtube video could not have been more appropriate!) and beginning to focus again on my own fitness goals so that, like you said, I could feel like the important one every once in a while. It’s tough, but at least working out is his addiction, and not worse things…right? I think sometimes the hardest part is that when we are around friends and family, every says “John, how’s the Ironman training going!?” and expectantly turn to me and smile in a way that says “you must be so so proud of your hunk of a man who is working so hard to achieve all of his goals– you are the luckiest person in the world” and I DO agree, but hey, what about all of the sacrificing I’m making over here!? I propose that during the days leading up to the Ironman, while they are all out scouting the course and having happy hours with each other, we get an event where we all go to a bar and are able to talk and relate to each other too-maybe a bar crawl called “Ironspouses” should be in the works 🙂
Just found your blog as my husband trains for his third Tri of the season, fourth race. A little more than week away and the increase in training has just about got me tearing my hair out. We have been married almost 11 years, together 17. Two kids, two full time jobs and tri’s. Glad I am not alone!
I love this blog! I found your blog searching for whether it’s just me struggling with being a triathletes wife but obviously it isn’t. I too wonder whether our relationship will stand the test of time and iron men preparation! I live in australia, have 2 children, work full time and part time study and my husband lives away, only coming home every 3 weeks or so for a night or 2. I admitted to struggling finding time to exercise amongst all the busy-ness and priorities for my husbands “hobby”. Any tips? I’ve been living this for 10 years and not sure I can do another 10! Love from australia x
I am in the same boat but I am the HUSBAND! My newlywed wife and I got married in August and she has always been a Triathlete, but she promised it would slow down once we got married. Now she thinks its ok to pay her “trainer” (just emails her works out, used to be free) $200/month! I can’t understand why she thinks its ok but asks me to take leftovers for lunch! How do I handle this because its driving me crazy!?
I am reading your posts as quickly as possible they are all real for me.
Omg. I am so glad that i am not alone. For a minute there i thought i was going crazy. I have a amazingly kind man who i love and wish to have children with one day..the only problem he is obessed with this ironman thing. Im trying to be as supportive as possible despite that his training is like a full time job. I however, need him to focus on finishing school, having a solid career, and getting his life in order. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be controling but he’s almost forty and still living at his mom’s home. Instead of working on his future, he rather swim, bikes,and run. I know this ironman thing makes him happy so i do not want to tell him to stop. On the other hand, he lives an imbalanced life and expects me to completely be on board. What should i do? How can he balance his real life priorities with ironman priorities? I do not want to leave because he is the sweetest, funniest, and most wonderful man i ever met. I just need advice from ironman girlfriends and wives asap lol. Thank you and blessings
Hi Esther! Sorry it took so long for me to post your comment and reply. I’ve been struggling with whether or not to continue blogging. I was afraid that dwelling on my feelings on my blog was starting to make me even more bitter! That said, I keep getting requests that the blog continue and I do think it has been helpful for me overall.
My best advice for you is to be honest with your triathlete. Have you told him how you feel? Do you think this is just a fleeting hobby for him or something that is likely to continue with the same intensity long-term? I agree with you that the biggest struggle is being supportive of something your partner loves while trying to preserve the relationship and life you love. I don’t think there is any easy answer. Maybe other followers can chime in!
Have you stopped blogging? We’d be interested in having a chat.
I took some time off from blogging during the off-season (to give us both some time off from the topic of triathlon). What would you like to chat about?